Get your oven mitts on - It's holiday cookie baking time!

I enjoy the winter holiday season very much, and now that we actually have snow (and sadly subzero temps), my family has been getting in the mood now for more than a few weeks! One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is that I am totally justified spending hours and hours in my wonderful kitchen stocked with high qaulity bakeware and a full baker's pantry.

Equally important to my friends and family gift list is my holiday baking list. Timing is everything, in understanding what you can freeze, what travels well and what needs to be made right before gobbling up by families.... So, in an effort to get ahead, I made one of the easist and popular cookies on the list.... Peanut Butter Kiss cookies... behold the wonderous rack O'Fat and goodness:

Other candidates for this year's treat platter:

• Iced Sugar Cookies
• Decorated Gingerbread Cookies
• Toffee
• Spritz
• Pumpkin Bars with cream cheese frosting
• Cherry Bars
• Haystacks
• Pistacio Biscotti
• Thumbprint cookies
• Macaroons

I think I'm missing a few... any suggestions? What are your favorites?

The need for healthcare reform - in person

I'm a pretty healthy person for my ripe old age of 43. Now, that's not to say I lead a healthy lifestyle, the remnants of a grilled cheese sandwich and fries that I just devoured for lunch are a testimony to it. What I really mean is that my lifestyle has not manifested in a way that requires medical attention... yet.

So, I go in for my annual physical and requisite mammogram (Screw the recent panel recommendations, I like my breasts too much to ignore them) every year, and once in a while, I go into urgent care because I slice my hand open doing a volunteer project. In other words, I'm paying a lot for my little routine exam, but that's OK, I believe in everybody doing their share for the common good.

Alas, aside from whipping out my checkbook yesterday, I couldn't really do my share. I was sitting in the packed waiting area chair, looking forward to the the annual boob squishing and visit by the cold speculum, and in the twenty minutes I waited, two separate families walked away without seeing a doctor because they didn't have insurance and couldn't afford it.

These were clearly people caught in the middle - unemployed, couldn't afford COBRA or private insurance, and didn't have the cash resources to pay for a visit. So they left without treatment.

I am horrified for the parents who can't offer relief to their sick children. One little boy was howling, holding his ear... the other was a teenage boy who was coughing up a lung. I was very saddened, and felt bad for the clinic administrators who had to refuse them, the parents, and the kids.

We need something to change and we need it now. We should put politics aside and leave stupid wedge issues out of the discussion. True patriots would see the country slowing sinking to it's needs because of health care. Our nation's position as a world leader in industry, democracy and technology has been jeopardized by the deficit hawks who aren't interested in paying for the foundation our citizenship depends on - our health.

There's star in the tree

Seriously, about a year ago, my husband and I were being lazy and hanging out in bed one winter saturday morning. We were talking, just staring out the window and he noticed that a conflagration of branches in the maple tree outside of our window formed a perfect star... like the one you drew as a kid. You can only see it if you are lying on the bed at the perfect angle. 1 foot either way, and you couldn't catch it.

We watched it through the window the rest of the winter, and when spring came, and the tree leafed out, we said goodbye to the star. Then when fall finally came, we got into position and looked for the star. We didn't know if the tree had outgrown it, or if it was lost in the cities tree trimming activity.

It took a few minutes, but we finally found it - the star shape completely intact and unchanged. I honestly feel like I would have shed a tear if it had been demolished.

It reminded me of when I was a kid and I'd take a bath in the tub in the bathroom next to my mom and dad's room. There was just a bit of paint peeling from the wall at the very top. It looked like a face. When my mom passed away and we sold the house, the bathroom was painted and the face was gone. I was sad then too....

Why is it that unique things created by nature or circumstance are more precious than man made things?

Life after Nano

One last post on my Nano experience - I promise, I'll be done obsessing about this after this post... for the last two days I have been experiencing withdrawal like symptoms, a mild depression, if you will. I guess it's a pretty common phenomenon amongst nano-er's marathon runners and the like (I didn't really just put myself in the same company as marathon runners did I? I didn't mean to!) .

As posted previously, I crossed the 50K line at about 10:45 PM, all alone, the house was full of sleeping children, dogs and husband. And although I really did want to do a loud victory lap, I instead just emailed my document to myself, validated my word count, shut down my computer and turned on Criminal Minds. No Champagne toast, no pats on the back, no post implementation happy hour.... Nope, I guess that is the life of someone who pukes out words on a piece of paper or a screen. Solitary. Alone with your own crappiness or awesomeness, take your pick. I told my kids the next morning, they were happy for me...my husband took me out for a celebratory cocktail the next night, and so it feels a little more like a win. But it won't be a good win until I finish. On Vacation, in December.

I did learn some things about myself in the process, though:

1) Quantity was not a problem for me. I hit the 50K with only a few days where I had to put myself in solitary. I suspect that the quality of my writing is at a C+... I'll let you know. Otherwise, I proved that given enough dedication, I could write a complete 162 pages without issue. I'm kind of proud of that fact!

2) The creative lion (what some people call their muse) I used to have inside of me (Whom I loved to tame on a regular basis) was just in a self induced Coma. She woke up when I started the project, and I hope that she won't go back into the coma now that I know she's still there. I surprised myself at how far out ideas just came up. I do still have the ability I thought I lost.

3) I have many pet phrases that I use when I write, and they are wrong! For example: "Oh, she's an idiot" Gene thought to herself. Since when do people think to someone other than themselves/ IS think even a transitive verb. Ack!

4) I like writing about food. How it looks, tastes, smells, all of it. I may explore this avenue further in next year's project.

5) it didn't matter that I dropped my typing class in high school in exchange for a more useful elective (Advanced Humanities)... I type mighty fine, thank you Mrs. Anderson (My teacher).

6) I really can't have any noise in the background to write. It must be utter silence, or just white noise. No TV, Music, conversations. I'm a real loner. That's my Myers Briggs "I" coming out.

7) A blank page really doesn't scare me. Just start, and it comes.

8) I am very motivated by progress against a goal. I've said for years that I'm not, but I was wrong. If you can graph it on a bar chart it makes me move. I need to remember that.

9) I really do enjoy creative writing. I'm a business writer most of my days, but I do like the idea of fabricating a reality and putting it on a piece of paper.... wait a minute, maybe those are the same things!

10) No one was surprised that I finished. Not my children, my husband or my friends. When I've told them I've finished the challenge, they've all said. "Of course you did." I guess it's been a long time since I've seen myself as finishing something that I'm proud of....

That last one, by the way, is the reason I started the project. I needed to know if I still had it in me to succeed, with no one but myself to blame. As many obstacles as we face in the day to day reality of the job, or family pressures, it doesn't mean they completely block your success. Take a lesson from a river - if you find your way is blocked, create a new way to get through.

I'm a Weiner! oh, I mean winner....

It's late, I'm tired... but I did it... I'm a winner: 50,164!
But the novel's not done.... so we'll see just how big of a winner I am if I ever finish this novel! But that's what December is for... It's been a great project, and I feel great about crossing that line!

It's time for sleep now...

9,699 words in 6 hours... bloody stumps for fingers

Mundane: Def: common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative. Or so says dictionary dot com... It's also a word that could easily and accurately describe the drivel that I write when I'm under the gun.

The great news is that I sequestered myself from reality for approximately 6 hours yesterday and hammered out close to 10,000 words on the novel. At my most productive hour, I wrote just over 2,000 words in an hour.

The bad news is that I found that I have the ability to write pure, unadulterated, boring mundane crap (hence the 2,000 words in an hour). Crappy dialogue, crappy descriptions, everything felt boring and so very not-special. However, if you recall the only measure of success is getting to that 50,000 word count by midnight on 11/30/09, so I am sticking with that as my motivator.

I was so motviated by my growing (albeit crap-ful) word count, I tracked it every half hour.

Intresting.... the peak productivity occurred after taking a break to share nachos and a part of the Vikings game with my children. I'm sure it was the chiki that helped me through, as you can see the massive amounts of caffeine I was consuming earlier in the morning had a cycling effect.

As of 3:23 central time on Sunday, November 22nd, I am back on track for my daily word count! Of course, I haven't written a word yet today, so as of midnight, I may be behind! Thanks for all of your encouraging words... they really do help!

The view from the peak of Mount Everest - 25,016 ft. (er... I mean words)

Looks mighty fine from here - sitting at my computer having successfully knocked out a full 25,016 words on my Nanowrimo project. I figure that since most mountain climbers don't have a helicopter pick them up at the top, and it's equally dangerous climbing down a mountain as it is climbing up - At this point, I am sitting on the top of novel writing world.

Of course, I am not actually surveying the words that I have written - there's the First Nano Rule (FNR) that states: Do not go back, do not read what you have written. Do not erase words. Just write words.

So, as far as I know, I've written 25,016 words that are sucky crap. There is every likelihood that it's true. And I have decided to follow the FNR because it's convenient for me. And since my only measure of success has been to finish the goal of 50,000 words in 30 days, it doesn't matter just how sucky craplike the story is.

And I'm a few thousand words behind on my daily count, but I think I should be able to make those up by the end of the week.

I am enjoying the process, though. I've added some level of interest to my character set, finally introduced the Male Main character in person to my Female Main character (it took forever)... so that should be a little interesting. My biggest fear right now is that it turns into a modern day Lust in the Dust or Corset Ripper novel. I've been putting in a few odd little references that obliquely relate to each other, should provide for an interesting ending..... and hopefully forestall Horace from sweeping Gene into his arms and riding off into the sunset on his motorcycle. I think she has to screw up and break his heart.... No happily ever after for my novel..... no no no....

Why my nano count has stalled.... I was too busy getting inspiration?

Got back from New York early yesterday - and instead of getting down to do some heavy duty make up writing, I spent the entire afternoon on the couch, intermittently sleeping, watching the Vikings game, snacking, and well.... definitely NOT writing for my NANO project.

No wonder I needed the sleep! We were in Manhattan a total of 44 hours, which meant that we had to have the "I'll sleep when I"m past the Newark airport" attitude.

Here's what we did in the those few precious hours, and whil we did sleep in the wee hours of the morning, I'm getting too old to do that for too many days in a row!

• Walked through Times square on way to have...
• Lunch and champagne at the Algonquin Hotel where the New Yorker was highly influenced by Dorothy Parker and yes, we saw the Round Table.
• Top of the Rock - Up top at the Rockefeller Center where they clearly took lessons from the Disney people in "how to squeeze every penny out of your guests in the shortest time period possible"
• Rockefeller center ice rink and holiday tree - skating yes... tree was there but surrounded by heavy duty scaffolding with many guys putting lights on the tree. Should look cool once the scffolding comes down!
• Walked through part of Central park with Hurrican Ida winds blowing.... damn near knocked us over.
• Took a break at Tavern on the Green for a cocktail... for those of you you who used to work at the same company as I do, you'll know that the "concept" of our course business was started there.
• continued wlaking and went through Natural History Museum and Hayden Planterium... very cool bunch of dead stuff.
• cab back to hotel, where we freshened up for Dinner at:
• Chez Josephine, an awesome restuarant in Theatre District - the whole place is an homage to Jospehine Baker... great food and the pianist could belt out those show tunes better than anyone I've ever met.
• tried to get in at Birdland, but they were sold out. Bummer. Settled for some other little bar where the trio ended up to be a two-o. Short visit..... wandered back to hotel, slept until I got out of the warm bed and went to get...
• Bagels and coffee from the Bagel Bar and was a wonderful wife and brought them back for my husband who was still sleeping...
• Walked down 6th Street to Madison Square Garden in search of a copy of NY Times... never found one until we got to the Newark airport the next day. Wierd
• Took a cab over the United Nations building. No tours available that day, but man, it was like stepping into a time capsule. I don't think anything has changed since North by Northwest was filmed.
• Walked back to Grand Central Station. Lunch was Hotdog from a street vendor, and no I didn't have any ketchup on it.
• Cabbed back to hotel and got ready to head down to West Village for merriment and music
• Went to Garage on Bleecker - too early for first show
• Came across a bunch of Puppy Parlors on Christopher street - doggies in the window type of place - one had a whole litter of Frech Bulldogs.... wiggle wiggle whiggle
• Scott bought his Black Wool winter Jazzman hat from a street vendor - a pork pie hat..
• Stopped at Greenwich Village Bistro for another drink, nice locally owned place, funny owner talking about the "old village",.... we agreed with her.
• Strolled down to Chez Jacqueline for tasty Frenchy dinner (in honor of the Frenchie bulldogs..) oohh la la.
• Went to Blue Note - one of THE jazz clubs to visit... everyone who is anyone has played there. And wow, do they pack in the patrons... damn fire code...
• Found Le Poisson Rouge after many attempts... we felt a little, er old to be there... Missed the first show and didn't want to hang out in the disco bar until the next... yes, we are old.
• cabbed back to Hotel, and stopped by BB King's club for a little more live music, and came across some drunk Canadian ladies who loved to dance and an english gentleman that lost his wife in the bar.
• Wandered abck to the hotel, stopped and got a couple of slices of pizza... crashed until wake up call for departure to Newark Airport.

Fabulous short vacation! Have too many blisters, still sleep deprived, and way behind on Nano... but I feel a writing binge coming my way.... maybe this afternoon!

Big Apple, watch out baby!

Just finished packing for a quick trip to New York. Just a long weekend, but we plan on getting as much jazz clubbing, foodie trolling and sight seeing done as possible. We'll see what this does to my plot development for my nanowrimo project. I can't imagine that it wouldn't inspire me somehow.... who knows, maybe my sad and sullen english teacher from a Winona-like town in MN hops on a plane and heads east with a stranger she just met.

I'm also planning on testing out Brian's Hairball in a drain theory....

16,182 words... Gypsy Gene is well on it's way!

In manuscript form, that's a total of 53 pages (TNR,12 font, double spaced, etc.). That is officially the longest work I have ever created alone, including college, work and fun. Even better, the characters don't bore me right now - although I don't like many of them - I don't know I would hang around any of them....

In fact, they have taken on a life of their own... words just get typed that form a character profile that I never imagined for this person. Case in point, just to get a sentence structure with the most power, a formerly straight secondary character all of a sudden was revealed to be gay! How did that happen? I'm not really sure, but it felt right as I was typing it, and damn, I've learned to just let my character development go with the flow.

So far, I can't see the finished product, but I know that I am keeping up with the daily goal, even getting ahead on some days. BAck to the cretive salt mines... oh, and that pesky day job... darn paycheck...

The first (and maybe last) excerpt of my Nano stuff

Per popular request (Ok, it really was just Thomas' request), I am baring my soul for all lurkers to poke holes in... and posting a section of the "novel" (hah!) that I am writing through Nanowrimo. I understand that posting these kinds of things is a little bit controversial, as it may jeopardize future publish-ability, but hell, I don't really care. It's not going to get published anyway.

So, I'm not going to set this up much, other than I was giggling when I wrote it, and it reminded me of all the work related happy hours we used to have (those were the days).... I read part of it to my loving and supportive husband... giggle, he did not. Smile in a "that's nice for you sweetheart way" he did. So much for feedback from him. Story line is about a high school English teacher who is generally unhappy and unfulfilled, but thinks she is "all that" (huh, good thing I'm not a teacher, or you all would see right through it). She regularly meets up with a friend for happy hour on Monday afternoon. Here it is... lay waste if you like, ignore if you want.

In the town of Winton, there were four restaurants that had liquor licenses, and over a dozen bars spread throughout the town limits. Since both Emily and Gene were teachers and “pillars” of the local community, they always chose to attend happy hour at a restaurant. What would the School Board think if they heard that two of their teacher stopped by the Queen of Hearts bar every Monday? Even worse, they couldn't imagine the wrathful lecture of Principal Amundson if he found out. It was a small town after all.

Tonight, they agreed to meet at Bananabee’s – a locally owned restaurant located in the strip mall at the west end of town. It used to be called Karl’s Kafe, but when Karl died, his son Kevin took it over and wanted to emulate a chain restaurant that was very popular up in the Twin Cities. Kevin investigated a franchise agreement with the chain, but realized he’d have to dump too much money into the place to get it up to snuff for the franchise, so instead, he played off the name, literally stole a copy of the menu, and just switched the names of the menu items. Voila, at Bananabees, you could get a Monte Cristo sandwich, but it was called "The Monte Carlo”. As an appetizer, you could order Jalapeno Toppers, instead of Poppers. It was a running joke in town that Kevin stayed up for a whole week, obsessed about dreaming up these names, and printed the new menus before he knew that his restaurant staff could actually cook the food. Gene had visited that other chain last year at a teaching convention, and in her opinion, Banabee’s Monte Carlo sandwich was much tastier, only because it was prepared with small town love, rather than assembled based on a laminated picture by picture recipe card.

Gene pulled into the Banabee’s lot to find Emily’s grey minivan already parked. Gene was proud of the fact that she still owned a two-door coupe, and had no need to compromise design for the ability to haul kids to soccer games and the like. Gene and her cocker spaniel were the only ones these days that rode in her car. She dodged an elderly couple on their way into the restaurant, probably headed to meet their friends for Linner.

There..... I did it..... now, I need to get back to the writing for fear of falling in the big behind with my Nanowrimo buddies. I'm up to 5,123 words.... 10% through and I'm still not sure where it's going.... next excerpt I post will actually be about the main character Gene, just haven't quite figured her out yet.

4,133 words in, and I'm still not sure if I like my main character

It was like the first day of school on November 1st, I had all my paper together and my pencils sharpened (well, the battery on my laptop charged, at least), and I woke up at 5:00 AM, with my story line ideas flowing out of my brain, like the water level rising against a dam after a spring rain. Quick, start the writing so you don't loose the gems...

It's like I couldn't keep the ideas inside my head anymore. I was typing as fast as I could, taking notes on the side so that I wouldn't forget that brilliant sidebar (she should always use a purple white board marker - that should be her trademark, her personality in a can), and the words just flew by. Soon, I was up to 500 words, and I had barely even begun the main character development. 700 words gone and I was just figuring out what her last name would be. 900 - Ha, that thing about the kid pewking on his way to gym class- that was a priceless line!

I needed to take a break and acknowledge my family's existence. And so I clicked on save, clicked on word count and was shocked that I had written over 1,000 words on the first day of nanowrimo. And it was 6:30 AM. Huh. So, it looks like quantity won't be an issue for me. Later in the morning, I tore down the dam again and lo and behold, I finished the day with 2008 words.

Which leaves the other measure - quality. The story line is definitely holding together so far (Especially since nothing but character introduction has happened), I don't' have any critical flaws in the plot - yet.

I'm introducing my character - Gene Gerard - as she passes through her day as a 9th grade English teacher and interacts with students, colleagues and faculty, so the reader could get to meet a lot of people in the first chapter of the book - probably too many.

My problem? As my character (Gene) moves through her day, the interactions she has are painting her as an unhappy, rigid, unfulfilled woman. Which is fine, but I don't' want the story line to take the obvious turn - where she finds true love and it makes her "whole" BLECHK.

In my efforts to not write Chick Lit... I will be looking for ways of filling the story with surprising plot turns so that the reader keeps guessing, rather than it following a formula.

As of this morning, I'm over 4,000 words. Trying to figure out a plot twist. I might post an excerpt tomorrow - feedback will always be appreciated and of course, I reserve the right to completely ignore it!

Heck, I'm not sure what I'm worried about - the work, called "Gypsy Gene" may never even have ink put to paper. It may just spend eternity on a flash drive in a drawer.

NaNoWriMo here I come!

Ok. so none of you talked me out of it... so I guess I'm in! Anybody want to buddy me so we can whine and moan about big, blank white pages? I'm registered at www.nanowrimo.org as jedstro ... search for me under authors and hook up with me as a buddy and we can share this crazy experience!

Of course, now that I registered, all of my cool story ideas quickly vaporized from my addled brain, and the only ones left are cliche filled-loser ideas.... or completely autobiographical which is lame-o.

So, in the final hours before it starts, I find myself with a furrowed brow, talking to myself about story ideas.... anybody want to provide some stimulation for my old, addled grey cells?

Please, someone talk me out of this horribly bad idea...

I'm serious, tell me to run away from this idea as fast as I can... because I can't honestly understand why I shouldn't partake in this crazy project: NaNoWriMo.... www.nanowrimo.org

The goal: Write a novel of at least 50,000 words between November 1st and Midnight, November 30th. That's it.... easy peasy, right?

Here's why I think I can and should do it:

1. If you've read more than one of my blog entries, you know that I tend to be, um, um, wordy and not necessarily good at self editing... so the quantity goal of average 1,666 word/day doesn't scare me all that much
2. I've been kicking around a few story ideas for years that I think I'd like to experiment with
3. There's no quality measure - sweet!
4. I dont' seem to have much work to do at work
5. I don't seem to have much stimulation or, purpose in my professional life (see this post)
6. There's absolutely no risk if I fail
7. If I succeed, I get a nifty web badge to stick on my little blog... and a handy dandy certificate!

Please, all you experienced writers out there... tell me of the heart ache and bloody finger tips, tell me how my brain will feel like it's complete mush after the first three hours. Describe the complete and utter panic I'll feel on that first day and the last few hours of the deadline. Tell me that I will neglect my family, this blog and all the other aspects of my life.

Tell me why this is a bad idea... or join with me in this crazy idea.... fellow closet writers and dreamers, you know who you are!

What's on your desktop?

No not the computer desktop... the actual physical horizontal space on which you set the computer.... What do you artifacts do you keep close to your virtual reality? I keep things that remind me of friends, family, victories, and some bittersweet moments of my life. I am a visual person, and while some people may feel unessecary objects bring clutter and chaos to their desk scape... These things keep me grounded and help me remember what is important.

Within my peripheral vision, l'objets that are considered non work essential are (from left to right):

• A framed portait of Rosie the Riveter that my BFF Julia gave me - it says "Jenny Can Do it" - I do look at it every day and it keeps me motivated
• A collage of pictures of former coworkers at various team events. Included are kickball with service ops, pre-bowling lunch with the BEST TEAM EVER, Ferber and I looking like 6th grade playground buds, Happy hour shot of Messrs. Rocket, Gunderson and English drinking beer, and a group shot of the last Women's build day that our company had with Habitat for Humanity.
• A pitcture frame that is filled with many layers of promises written on napkins from former co-workers - Ferber, I still want that free IT release, damn-it - even if you have to work Rocket to death to get it!
• Several pictures of my children at various ages, all the way from fishing up at Grindstone Lake to them in front of the cabin to their current school pictures.
• Tokens from my affections - small gifts from various friends - the majority from my wonderful husband:
• A Devil rubber ducky,
• a white VW Bug,
• A keycard from our stay at the W Foshay tower recently,
• A lovely arty magnifying glass, a gift from my step daughter Samantha
• A stress-ball apple with an I3 on it (this is what I throw at the wall when I get frustrated)
• A promotional puzzle block from a former vendor that unfolds in various ways - great to play with while on interminable conference calls
• A dolphin keychain that squeaks when you push the button,

• Several "i voted" stickers (in case anyone wants to question my patriotism),
• My subliminal Democrat button (you'd have to get really close to know what it is),
• A pin from Pracna on main, which came from an afternoon playing hooky this summer with my husband, drinking Gin and Tonics all afternoon
• More picutres of teams from the past - this one is from the ORIGINAL BEST TEAM EVER at FBS - damn we were young.
• A single photo of Marne flipping me the bird at an all day planning session - that one makes me giggle
• Several coffe receptacles, some for use, some for show
• Tickets to the Hiromi show at the Dakota
• Ticket Stubs from the movie Matrix, when we all took an afternoon off from the office, had a fabulous lunch and went to the movie
• Pictures of the team sock puppet (Lola?) in front of various desitnations on the Curise of a lifetime - La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, the Port in Santa Margherita, the casino in Monte Carlo.

Clearly a reflection of what's important to me: Family, Friends, Politics, travel and not taking myself too seriously...

What's on your desktop?

On having a purpose...

In all of my 27 working years, it's never been more clear to me as to how my self-worth is determined by my employment. I, like other people, have built this false belief that the more responsibility you have, the more fulfilling the job will be. And in most cases, this has been true. For years, I have been very fortunate and have found myself moving "up" in my current organization with a focus on both making a difference in the community



Honestly, I have had truly menial jobs that were much more fulfilling than the one I have right now. Flipping burgers at Mac's, being a courier (read: mailgirl) at a local bank, even being a playground supervisor over "the best tan of my life" summer.. these all had some element of directly benefiting humanity that I just don't have right now...which is odd, since I'm a corporate do-gooder -wouldn't that be a job that most likely fills the "make the world a better place" need in a career?

So, the obvious conclusion I draw is "power" and "influence" are meaningless without purpose. No duh... I say to my self...no duh.

Last Harvest of 2009 - 24 K Carrot Gold

Ooh those dirty little carrots....

Ok, so remember when I talked all big about weeding my garden, taking a day off, blah blah blah? Well, I haven't touched it since then, aside from taking the last ripe tomatoes and a chili pepper to make a big pot of kick-ass chili.... that was three weeks ago.

We had an early frost here in Minneapolis... about 2 weeks ahead of the average date, so I've been watching all of my flowers loose their cellular structure, species by species. Tomatoes go after the impatiens, but they are the next to go... then the raspberries, zuchinni, cukes and bell peppers. I spent about 30 minutes ripping out all of these soggy, nasty plants today. Then I turned around, and looked at the carrot patch. I've been neglecting it all summer - the happy little fringy tops growing away, even though I never thinned the few rows I seeded in June. I was delighted to see that the tops were still green, which meant that it wasn't too late for harevsting the carrots! Yipppeeee!

I grabbed the pitch fork, and with laser accuracy, dug up the entire patch in three turns. Then comes the most favorite activity of any veggie gardener... discovering the buried treasures that were hidden in seed form a long four months ago. Were there any? Where they long or short? did the non-thinning negatively impact the crop? The picture above confirms that I produced a bumper crop of "Sweet Mini" variety carrots - they turned out exactly as they should have... non thinning and all.... ahhhhh I love being a lazy gardener!

And now a good portion of them are destined for some stew that I assembled during the MN Vikings game. Good thing I got the stew meat cut up before the last 3 or 4 minutes of the game... I might have thrown the knife at the TV!

Time to add the carrots and the shamefully uniform red potatoes that were purchased at the local store.... I love growing potatoes... just not enough return on my investment. I'll figure out the ROI on the carrots.... after I taste them in the stew!

Pretty little things when they are all cleaned up!

The rumours of my death are greatly exagerated...

Well, not real death, but death as a member of the blogger community.... turns out, when you are actually working for a living, taking care of family, politically active, doing good in the community, and obsessed with the local baseball team in their run for the pennant..... there's just not a lot of blog time in the schedule.

I know, I know, anybody that takes the time to read, lurk, comment or snark on my blog should not be a victim of my schedule. Nor, should the wonderful writers whose blogs I frequent be summarily ignored, simply because I don't have time.

Alas, the truth is that I am (like most people) very selfish, and my priorities are as such:

1) My wonderful 15 year old twin boys
2) My charming husband of 10+ years
3) Other extended family members- specifically my 88 year old mother in law who is making the move this weekend from the 30+ year family home to a 700 square foot apartment, and oh, yeah, she's a packrat.
3) Paid employemnt (only because it pays the bills)
4) The Foundation that I just started with a group of highly talented women
5) The DFL and it's candidates and elected officials
6) My dogs
7) My garden (Should move lower as it's snowed and my garden is now defunct for the year)
8) Blogs I vist
9) Housework, to include laundry, dishes, sweeping mounds of doggie hair (See #6), etc.

That's right, you all only trump housework. Sorry.

I'll try to be a better blogger..... tomorrow after I go to work, take Mother in law shopping, come home to do the dishes and throw in a load of laundry.

My Love affair with Caffeine

I am a caffeine junkie. I'll take it whatever way I can get it (other than smoking it). I think it dates back to my wimpy teenage years when my friend Terry and I decided to stay up all night by taking massive amounts of No-Doz (no illegal drugs for us!).



We had a master plan that included purchasing it at the local Tom Thumb convenience store - and in order to look oh-so-cool and not suspicious at all - we also loaded up the basket with Sunkist orange soda, Poppy Cock snack mix, Bugles and premade chocolate pudding for good measure. I get a gut ache just thinking about it now... but 13 year-olds think that they have iron stomachs....


After walking home to Terry's house, we loaded it all into the pop-up trailer that her dad had set up for us (Looking back I'm sure they wanted their sleep, assuming us girl scout types would never be so bold as to do anything wrong). Rolled out the sleeping bags, set up the radio - tuned to (o lord help me) WLOL - a pink bubble gum station at the time. We cracked open the Sunkist, poured it into the fancy glasses we stole from the basement bar, and downed, oh, i don't know 2 no-doz each. then waited. and then after 15 minutes of no effect, downed 2 more pills. Then while we were waiting for the "magical effect"... we ate the Poppycock (caramel corn type stuff), pudding and Bugles with another good round of Sunkist soda. And then the giggling started. And then the gut ache started, and the moaning, and the groaning infused with little giggles that I'm sure were caused by anticipation and excitement rather than caffeine. And then we spent the rest of the night - trying not to fall asleep until the sun rose. And most importantly, trying not to projectile vomit...

Shortly after the sun rose..... knock knock knock "girls - I've made breakfast - how would you like pancakes and bacon?". Um.... "Sure, Mrs. Leigh, we'll be right out."

And as Terry and I pushed our pancakes around the plate and tried not to look too green in the gills, they informed us of a most cruel trick: They had a surprise for us: We were spending the morning touring Fort Snelling! Woo hoo! They just found out that it was a special day and all the re-enacters would be there, baking bread, hauling water, cleaning guns. And even better, we would have lunch with Great Aunt Peggy in the senior home!

I was never so thankful to get home and collapse on the couch... it taught me that parents really do know what the hell is going on in the backyard pop-up trailer... not specifically, but enough so that they could exact cruel revenge on our naughtiness. From then on, we waited until they went out of town to party... you know, the old crossover sleep over with no-one home trick? Let's just say that the no-doz started and stopped that night.... but the caffeine is still a monkey on my back. And well, as far as Terry and I and our exploration into mood altering agents... that was just the beginning. Maybe I'll tell that tale here someday, but my children occasionally stop by my blog, so......... maybe not.

Miasmatic dullness

That's what a day like today brings to the employees of the company I work for.

An ethereal cloud of dust particles made of some caustic, sharp metal.

Along with the swipe of my security badge at the door, I surrender the hope of having a productive day.

Scan the inbox full of emails-about-nothin, listen the voicemails from people who give less of a damn than I do.

Engage in behaviors that sound like work, and look like work, but are not work.

Attempt to make a difference in the world, but find that the walls here are made of lead, making the rest of the world unpenetrable from my desk.

I know that this invasion of the brain snatchers has been going on for months now, and others I share oxygen with during the work week suffer silently with me.

Some smart person should really grab up this immense talent and do something productive with it.

But, that person is not me, not today.

A light in the middle of the tunnel

Had breakfast with a friend from work this morning.... we try to get together every quarter. While I can't speak to why my buddy likes these meetings (He's a guy, and well, we just don't talk about feelings), I know I look forward to them because it reminds me of several things that this crazy work situation has made me forget:

1) Their is life out there outside of work... and sharing that with work friends is a good thing
2) Yes, I am smart and competent
3) You can maintain a sense of humor during less than ideal times
4) Laughing at yourself is good.... laughing at fools is more fun
5) Gossip is amusing, but friendship is not about getting scoop. It's remembering why you became friends in the first place
6) Children, grandchildren and relationships are way more important than any paid gig... ever.
7) While misery loves company, realistic optimism loves it more
8) Coffee or tea is just as good of a conversation stimulant as a tankard of beer. Added benefit: no hangover!
9) There are good people in the world, after all. Even if you have to seek them out!
10) Most importantly: A side order of bacon at OPH in Edina is big enough for two people to share.

Thanks for the visit, Dan.... and thanks for reminding me about what really matters.

Tourista - Minneapolis Style

Had a blast this weekend playing Tourista in our wonderful city of Minneapolis! Having spent a decade or more in jobs that required a certain amount of business travel, I have been to most major cities and a lot of the middle size cities in the US, and some abroad. New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, New Orleans, Miami, Paris, Rome, Barcelona to name a few... I've written about my gypsy gene before -I love to travel. Part of that love centers on where I currently live and the things I love about the Twin Cities (and the things I find lacking).

Over the past few years, my family and I have really tried to rediscover the city that we live in. Aside from visiting the museums and the theater and music venues for specific shows, we try to see it from an outsider's viewpoint. And Wham, when I do, I thank my lucky stars for living in such a wonderful place in the world.

This weekend, we stayed at the W in the Foshay tower - I had a free night that I needed to burn by the end of the month. As with all W's I've stayed in, it's an experience for the senses... and makes you feel either old (because you are not that hip), or young, because you know that even though you may be a little draggy and droopy on the outside, you also know that you were hip before these punks were out of diapers. Scott and I choose the latter attitude to have...

And aside from the fabulous food we ate, and the lordy lordy too many drinks we had, we also made the trip up to the Foshay tower museum and observation deck. This trip used to be a mandatory grade school thing... and I felt like that 4th grader again... looking over the edge at downtown and trying to see our house with the bincolulars. Its been well over 30 years since I've been up there... seems to me too long of a time!

So, no matter where you live, try to tour your city as if you never lived there... you'll never question why your propoerty taxes are so high, or so low again. Cities are for the people who live there to enjoy... not just for the tourists anymore!

If black cats bring bad luck....

Then an albino squirrel must be a harbinger of good things to come..... right?

It's Friday and I'm ready to believe any sign that could be construed as positive- I was taking an alternate route to grab coffee this AM because of thelongestfreakingconstructionprojectever known as crosstown reroute... so I was tooling around the backroads of Richfield trying to get onto Penn avenue and an albino squirrel wisely choose to not get flattened by my tire.

I take that as a good sign.

Just like making the green light that never goes my way.

Just like getting 2 bags of Peanut M&M's from the vending machine.

I have these little fits of superstition...which may suprise some of my friends that think I'm level headed and logical all the time....

The mob mentality...and the horror floor

Working in the financial services industry for the past 24 years (good golly, Miss Molly I'm old!) has provided me the opportunity to observe human behavior as it relates to change. Good change, bad change, change for the sake of boredom, it's all basically the same.

It's human nature to be afraid of change - lack of security shakes the foundation of our psyche. There's all sorts of reserach out there on the manifestations of this fear.

The most interesting aspect is something that I literally see happening around me today. The rumor mill at my current employer is overflowing! Talk of closing the location entirely, or certain business units being wiped out.... all the rumors wrapped up in people looking for "signs"....

Signs that "we" are going to be impacted (negatively):

• A request from HR for meeting with the manager next week
• Email requests for who has IT access to what applications
• Delayed projects with no explanation of when a decision will be made
• etc. etc. etc.

Signs that "we" are safe:

• A new copier/printer was delivered (not installed) to our area
• Budget planning continues

I really try not to read anything into these types of signs, because I know that anyone can get laid-off at a moment's notice. No matter how many things are on your plate, if you are the only one who knows how to do something.... when deicisions are made, these things are not taken into account.

So, upon analysis of these signs, my co-workers are starting up the horror floor machine... basically laying out the worst possible scenario. People packing their personal things based on NO actual information. Plotting on how to get information from the facilities people.... Calling for information on unemployment, how does COBRA work....you all know the drill! I think this behavior stems from not having any control over the situation. By packing, you have control. By gaining information, you are prepared. But the problem with playing into the mob mentality is that it is panacea by nature. You don't really have any more control. Your behavior will not change the ultimate outcome. You expend some much emotional overhead on transitioning between "we are safe... and... we will get hit."

So... I sit with no boxes packed... no pictures wrapped up.... no worry in my face. I'm waiting. if it happens, it does, if it doesn't. I don't have the emotional overhead to spend. Not today at least!

Coming back up for air...

It's been a busy week for me since my last post! I have too many plates-a-spinning... and I can hear them start to wobble... I am afraid to look!

So my task today is pull some plates safely down by accomplishing some outstanding tasks that need to be done so that I can sleep at night.

Tomorrow, I think I'll be able to actually put a little extra torque on a few plates to keep them going while I focus on other things...

And then I pray to the "too busy to think" gods that they dont' all come crashing down at once. I'd be sad to see all of the plates broken....

Honey, have you seen my machete?

It's been a while since I have weeded my vegetable garden... like maybe since the 4th of July? So, I set out yesterday morning to do just that. Holy crapola! I've neglected my garden before, but never like this! You know how the saying "the corn is high as an elephant's eye"?, well, lets just say that I had some weeds (lambsquarter, ragweed and something I don't even knowwhat) that are as tall as me (which by the way is 5" 2" on a good day)!

That's not to mention all the "volunteer" elm and maple trees that shot up since we started getting rain and some hot weather... I could have supplied a whole boy scout troop with Marshmallow toasting sticks with the nice switches I could pul out (cut down) in the herb section!

And speaking of volunteers, for the love of god, I wish I could get rid of my now-wild chives... It grows everywhere... in between the bricks of the path, in the lawn, it's take over a good portion of the I've pulled and I've yanked, I've cut and I've sworn at it... and yet, if I left the garden alone for a whole year, it would be nothing but garlic chives and raspberry canes.

My garden has been producing some great crops - green beans, tomatoes, snow peas, raspberries (2nd crop has now started!!), cucumbers, zuchinnis, lettuce, herbs, etc... but something amazing happens when you go out to the garden to pick stuff... you are so focused on finding all of the near gargantuan beans, you don't see the spanish bells, or the pig weed, growing right next to you! Well, maybe I see them, but with both my hands busy and full of bean/tomato/pea picking... how could I pull weeds?

So, each year in the middle of august, I schedule a mondo-weeding day. I am about two weeks late this year, due to actually having a life, having fun with my family, etc. etc... So, I am actually taking a day off of work to accomplish this mission.

What did I do yesterday then? I pulled the weeds next to the vegetable garden! Yes, I'm talking ragweed, nightshade, and some other noxious stuff that I needed to get out before it went to seed, or worse, took over the whole f'ing world! And yes, if I had a machete, I could have used it... but alas, I only had my hands and my trusty clippers, so it took a little longer and I never got into weeding inside the veggie garden...

Which leads me to my main point - the best part of gardening... while I love the idea of having a neat, tidy and perfect garden, I just don't think it will ever be true. And I'm not stressed about it, nor do I feel guilty for letting the weeds take over. It's my personal space, no one cares about it but me (and my vegetable loving family, although they never complain because they know I'll ask them to weed the damn thing!).

It's my one space that can be in control and out of control at the same time. I choose when to weed, when to water and when to harvest. I can't say that about any other facet of my life at this point.

So Wednesday, I choose to weed.

Rest in Peace, Teddy

Today, our nation lost a great leader. And while I know I'm going to get all kinds of crap from those that like to point out Chappaquiddick, I'm still going to miss Ted Kennedy. Aside for his larger than life personality, and his family legacy so often focued on personal tragedy, he really did speak for those with no voice, or limited access to power.

In his career, he authored/sponsoered bills that I consider core to my values:

Civil rights
Voting Rights
Neighborhood Health Care Centers
Nuclear Arms Control
Americans with Disabilitties
the original Teach For America Program
Abortion Rights
Workers Rights
FMLA
Americorps
Immigration
Anti-war
Amber Alert

And the list goes on and on...

He fought for the little guy, advocated for truth and justice and stood for everything that has always been right with this country.

Good Night Teddy...

The Rolling Money Pit

Anyboday want to buy a 2003 Saab 9-5? Less than 70K miles on it. It's a pretty car - candy apple red, light brown leather interior... it's very zippy.... except when it's not.

My car is in the shop, again. The check engine light came on and I have no idea what's wrong with it. Seems every 6 months or so, something go wrong with it. That's not even the usual maintenance... brakes, alignment, lamps/bulbs, etc.

In the past 12 months, I have probably spent $2,500 on repairs and maintenance, and I know I'll dump at least $1,000 into this repair, since I have some (cough cough) deferred maintenance that must be done or it will turn into a non-rolling money pit.

Here are some of the repairs I've done recently:
Fuel pump: $1,000
Thermostat replacement: $500
Brake Job (the seond one): $600
Headlight (damn xenon bulb) replacement: $250
Oil change: $75

It's time to dump the car, but I need to repair it before I do. Then, in that hot second between repairs, I need to sell it to some sad soul who doesn't know what it means to own a Saab out of warranty.

Would I buy another Saab? Yes! If I had a lifetime warranty and a trust fund for the repairs. I love the car other than these pesky repair issues. I have learned my lesson about high sticker price autos. You might be able to afford the payment, but if you intend to keep it longer than 5 years, you have to look at the average repair cost of the car once out of warranty. Do your research, or you might end up like me: Praying for a huge hailstorm so I can get the value out of the car without having to sell it!

Jenn'fer's top 10 things that could go without media coverage

And the world woudn't notice or care:

10. Crop Circles - Alright people, they are not created by aliens.
9. Infidelity by elected officials - it's none of our business, really.
8. The end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. Not going to happen
7. Celebrity Breakups - again, it's none of our business... Plus, who can keep track?
6. Why Pit Bulls are a dangerous breed- It's the owners that are dangerous. Any dog can be turned into a vicious beast.
5. Denny Hecker/Tom Petters...etc - I'm so tired of reading about these guys. Ignoring them is the best thing that we could do.
4. George W. Bush - Check.. this has already happened!
3. Birthers and Deathers - please stop providing a platform for these crazy people
2. Brett Favre signing with the MN Vikings - Ok, we know he's here....
1. Jon and Kate plus 8 - enough already. You love one, you hate the other. Either way, it's not news!

End of Life counseling - It should be a right, not a way to win elections!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME?

Yes, this is me shouting... I can not sit quietly as this issue plays out. In a recent post about dying, I talked about my experience with familiy members in their end of life experience and two friends who are going through the same thing. I had no idea that post would be relevant to a national tragedy currently upon us.

I continue to struggle with the idea that dying is shameful and being born is a joyous occasion! How is it possible that we automatically provide prenatal counseling as a matter of publich health policy, but discussing end of life counseling and treatments is now off the table. Again - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

In the cases I posted about, the ability to meet with doctors and specialists (including hospice care workers) to understand prognosis, symptoms, palliative treatments and end of life care was critical to caring for our loved ones. I couldn't imagine not having access to that process, and while it was difficult to assemble these doctors and health care professionals, it wasn't a matter of insurance coverage, it was a matter of schedules!

Again, that would be like denying an expectant couple the ability to understand from their practioner what happens during labor and delivery. Unspeakable, right?

These astroturfers, pundits and politicians who are labeling these humane practices as "Death Panels" should be treated as criminals. They are spewing lies in a manner I have never witnessed personally, but remind me of racist protests in the south.

This move by the Wrong Wing merely uses the current health care debate as a means to spread their hateful, vile messages. Healthcare is a very convenient medium- something everyone can relate to, makes use of and has issues with. Trust me, this is the new wedge issue. It's just like their attacks against abortion rights, civil rights, gay marriage, anti-islam, gun control.. the list goes on and on. And just like all of these "Old standby" wedge issues, they synthesize their own facts, use highly emotive slogans created by evil doers in the basement of the GOP.

These slogans and screaming matches are not really about protecting anyone's access to affordable healthcare... no, these events are the opening salvo into the 2012 presidential election. Wrongt Wingers have demonstrated that they don't give a damn about the average american, the working poor, or the elderly (look at their funding priorities!).... Just like they used "Joe the plumber" to try to win the 2008 election, they are using your healthcare as a way to win 2010 congressional seats, and eventually will try to spin this into a vcitory in 2012. DO YOU THINK WE ARE THAT STUPID?

I'm here to tell you that it won't work. Just like Joe the plumber didn't work. Our nation's citizens will eventually see these tactics for what they are. We are smarter than the Wrong Wing thinks we are. We really are.

My apologies to all of my rational and reasonable conservative friends - I'm not talking about you. You know who I'm talking about... don't you?

Big Question of the Week

This is an interesting question:

If you had $100 that you had to give to a charity of your choice (not your kid, a friend, etc.).... what would you choose, and why? You can't split up the dough - it's a one time $100 donation?

Here's my answer: A literacy project in the local school - because we still fight literacy issues, and without the ability to read, most systems in America don't work. Illiteracy = poverty = crime=danger.

I dig the Vibes

A little jazzy haiku for this Tursday AM...


I dig the vibes

Bringing beat and melody
Mallets pounding bars ringing
They sing a sweet tune


If you want to hear some great vibes... go here!

I am a huge fan of Robert Reich...

What's not to like? Secretary of Labor under Clinton, Professor of Economincs At UC Berkley, political commentator on NPR and CNN .... all add up to extremely smart fellow who sees today's econimc and political craziness for what it is.

I enjoy his economic analyses, as his belief in the only way we are going to recover is to create/bring back jobs aligns with my own belief.

And today, I have an example of why I am tickled by his political view points... in his blog today, he points out that the Republican's are buying their way into communities by "astroturfing" - an artificial form of grass-roots organizing... In fact, I've received some of this propaganda from my republican friends.

I knew their was a machine of some kind behind it... and now I know who the machine is and who is paying for it. US chamber of Commerce - we know who you are and what you do.... no matter how folksy you look in the local community. In the end, you support big business, big wealth and big money. Not Joe's coffee shop, trying to stay alive in the community.

Freakin Interrupt ads

Oh, how I hate them! I seem to have found a new hobby mousing around interrupt ads... you know the kind.. when you inadvertently scrollover an innocent-looking ad on a content page and more than 1/2 of your screen is taken up with some BS picture? The kind marketers display a close "X" button, but I've recently seen some where there is no escape... ARGH!

Wasn't it bad enough that we had to endure psycho dancing chicks on side bars? Who clicks on those lame mortgage ads anyway? Which PhD. actually believes that these kind of tactics get more business rather than piss of the viewer? Who recommeds these annoying ideas. I know, the whole premise is to get viewers to remember the ad, not necessarily feel good about it.... but I have actually boycotted advertisers based on their web advertising tactics!

Rant over... for now...

Late July Garden update

Well, it's been well over a month since I posted a picture of the veggie garden.... and here its is!

Yes, a controlled jungle! It's been so cool this summer, that the weeds have not been as explosive as they usually are.... but that also means that my tomatoes are beautiful.. but green! Same as the bell peppers and zuchinni! But the lettuce has actually remained harvestable for a while, where it would normally have gone to seed by 4th of july! We've been able to harvest:

• A few handfuls of raspberries (bunnies cut the canes down so our early crop was really limited)


• Lettuce and spinach


• Snow Peas


• A handful of cherry tomatoes - more coming this weekend!


• Herbs, of course.

I am lookign forward to mid august when I can pick a tomato, and some basil... slice the 'mater up and shred the basil... Bring a knife and plate into the garden and I could eat it right there! NUMMY!

Life is a terminal illness...so what's the problem

In otherwords, everything that lives, dies. Some feel that the minute you are born you start dying. I feel that yes, there is some point when you physiologically have more decay than growth occuring... I guess that would be "mid life". While I don't want to know when I hit that stage (or maybe I already have), I do believe that dying is as natural as being born.

The social stigmas and cultural mores around birth and death are so vastly different, yet the biological process are very similar, just in mirror image. Why is birth a joyful occasion, and death such a sad time? Why are there five different versions of "what to expect when you are expecting, in the first year, etc.", when there is no book on Barnes and Noble shelves called "What to expect when you are dying?". Why do we need to whisper and be sad around people who are terminal, but we are loud and boisterous around a new born who has much of the same needs (sleep, eat, eliminate)? Why are people proud to buy Pampers, but ashamed to buy Depends?

I have two good friends who are in the process of losing a very important person in their life to cancer. A father, who has seen a long, good life, and the other, a best friend whose life is just at theat midpoint if not for disease.

Having lost both my parents and a sibling before I turned 37, I understand the deep grief these two friends are experiencing. I wish I could turn it upside down and help them celebrate the joy that these people have added to their lives. I wish we could sign happy songs at funerals, or for that matter, skip the stupid funeral and have a party! Regardless of whether or not you believe in the afterlife... why not celebrate the dead?

I really wonder why humans feel sad when someone dies. Aside from a few higher primates, most of our fellow members of the animal kingdom don't mourn the loss of a pack or family member. And if anyone says that they saw grief if the eyes of the penguin in "March of the penguins" - I say "Bah - that mama was wondering if that frozen chick was food or a rock."

Is this a social thing, or a genetic thing? I know some people who would dismiss this question as being cold hearted and even cruel... Trust me, I miss my mom, dad and brother terribly... Were they young? Yes. Did it feel tragic? Yes! But it's not like they weren't eventually going to die anyway... we all do!

I got nothing....

I got nothing to say today.... how odd, and a little pathetic....

Swimming with Zombies

Not far from my house is a community center that has a HUGE waterpark... many slides, multiple pools, and on warm days there's not much room in the pool. Right next door is a lovely cemetary. You can literally read the writing on some gravemarkers from the top of one of the water slides...

My boys and I were driving by this area on Sunday, and one of them said that isn't it funny they built the waterpark next to the "dead people place" (yes, that's what we call it in our family)... then the other says "yeah, wouldn't it be funny if the dead rose from the grave as zombies and decided to take a swim in the pool?"... (They are big Evil Dead fans)

and then we launched into this string of funny zombie swimming movie concepts, including -

• kids show up at the pool in the morning and find a zombie finger floating in the pool (and then of course, Bill Murray comes out to fetch the floater)
• Scenes of zombies squealing with delight as they go down the big slide
• Guy zombies chcking out chick zombies in their bikinis.. rotting flesh and all
• Bruce Campbell shows up in a speedo and of course, his chainsaw strap-on .. and hangs out in the hot tub waiting for the sun to set.

Of course, all of the concepts were based on movies from my teen years.... that have somehow transitioned to my 15 year-olds' brains.... Caddy Shack, Cocoon, Porkies, Evil Dead, Dawn of the Dead... just a little glimpse into the car rides I share with my boys....

Now What?

Now what?

I wrote a poem
And it’s just sitting there
on my screen
The cursor, blinking at me

Asking me “now what?”
Now that it’s done
Do I post it?
Do I send it?

Or was it just for me
That I wrote it?
I like it
It speaks the truth

Would sharing it
Cause me to admit
That something is amiss,
Something has changed?

Or did the mere writing of it
Suffice as catharsis
A literal purging
Of my emotional bowels?

So much fun to have, too few weekend days to do it in!

This is one of those weekends that I am tickeled pink to live in a first ring suburb of Minenapolis. It's the final weekend of the Aquatennial, which means there is stuff going on all over the city. There is so much to chose from, I wish we had more time. After reviewing all of the info, here's our battle plan:

Tonight (Friday): Hit the Dakota Jazz Club for Cocktail hour (I hope Irv and the boys will be playing). Then, maybe, we'll stay for The New Standards (Chan Pohling from The Suburbs, John Muson from trip Shakespeare/Semisonic, and Steve Roehm, an awesome percussionist who plays the vibraphones). And if it all plays out, we'll bring Magni and Modi along... they'll have a blast!

Tomorrow (Saturday):

AM: Go enjoy breakfast at the Famous Daves in Calhoun Square, and travel to New Orleans through the Jack Brass Band performance.... yes... brass band over pancakes...
Noon: Go to My Music store in Golden Valley for the Annual Guitar Toss - pay $1 to throw a guitar into a dumpster - benefitting the GV Animal Humane Society.
Afternoon: Hit the Art Car Parade at LAke Harriet... as LynLake is still torn up with construction
Evening: Attend Mill City part for Aquatennial, Fireworks afteward!

Sunday: AM: Sit on our butts and recover from Saturday... Afternoon: Hit Lake Calhoun/Isles in a couple of canoes and maybe hit Somerfest on Peavy plaza for some music...

And then Monday comes!

Girls marry their fathers... eventually

Not earthshattering, I know....but I was just thinking about how this has played out in my life. Anybody who reads this probably knows I have been married three times.

1) Mr. Ick (not his real name) - started dating when I was 16, he was 20. Relationship created out of my need for "normalcy" after my 18 year old brother took his own life. Married at 18, divorced 3 years later. Evidently, Normalcy is really not for me.

2) Paul (his real name) - Father of my children, artist, now a plumber. Met in college, beginning of relationship overlapped with end of marriage. Smart Guy, nice guy, but since this is a public blog, I'm not going to go into any detail about how it ended or why. The great news is that we have kept our relationship very functional since we divorced after 5 years of marriage, when our children were not quite 3 years old. 12 years later, we are both happy being married to someone else!

3) Scott (his real name) - Third time is the charm... Scott is 10 years my senior - very smart guy, a very loving man. Talented in many ways - none of them have anything to do with his profession! He's brilliant, a musician, a gastronome, and a big fan of martini's (Shaken, not stirred of course). He has plenty of demons in his past - sometimes they surface. He claims I fall for "tragic" guys. I think he's right. I also fall for guys who can have a real conversation, a conversation that stretches me intellectually.

And that's where marrying my father comes in. While my dad has been dead for 18 years, I can honestly say my fondest memories of him were at the dinner table, arguing about something, or learning from him. Or watching the news and hearing his point of view, and voicing my own. He taught me how to have a respectful, balanced debate. He also taught me to question everything. These are all qualities that attract me to others. It's too bad that Scott and I didn't meet at a point where having children together was feasible (we both have enough apart, thank you very much).. we would have produced some interesting kids.

But that's the point - girls end up marrying their fathers, and boys end up marrying their mothers, because they want to continue those traits which they find most attractive.

Think back to your won relationships... did you (will you) end up being married to your mom or dad? I did, and I'm proud to say it!

The big C – it’s everywhere…

It’s been one of those months … cancer seems to be everywhere.. and it sucks. This morning, I came into the office, and first email I see is an update to CaringBridge about a friend of my best friend… she’s been battling cancer for a couple of years now, and it finally seems to be getting the best of her. A few weeks ago, a good friend called me to tell me her father has it, and wanted advice and counsel, since she worked with me when my mom died from it, she knew I could help her through the process. Just last month, I couldn’t bear to attend a funeral of a fomer co-worker’s wife – they have three little kids under 10!

Then, over lunch today, I open up CNN, and wham, MCA (Adam) from the Beastie Boys has it! Crap! One of the most vibrant people in that scene is doing battle with the big C. It’s true, cancer does not discriminate based on race, religion, socio economic status, or sexual preference… it’s an equal opportunity killer.

Out of a close circle of friends - 3 couples (including my husband and I), 5 of the 6 of us have prematurely lost a parent to this disease – 3 mothers and 2 fathers – all gone from the world well before their time.

I know, everyone dies of something, eventually. And, I know plenty of people who have (or are getting there) beaten the bastard… Terry, who had a tumor in her arm when I first met her 16 years ago, Julia’s mom, a breast cancer survivor for many years, Tonya, a former co-worker who has now had several clear scans (Yay!), and a few more… But sadly, the list of people who have succumbed to the disease is longer than those who have won the battle…

And so, I make my donation to American Cancer Society and other organizations with hope that someday, we’ll understand the mechanics of the disease better… and eventually start knocking them over like dominoes. There is no single cure for cancer… as it takes many shapes and sizes. If you have money to invest, invest in one that is doing research on cancer…. Eventually, you could make a fortune… and help save people from dying prematurely.

Could I just win the lottery already?

It's not for lack of trying.... and I'm SOOOOOOOOOO tired of working for a living... I could be such a good independently wealthy person!

Ok, back to the normal non-obvious-whining blog tomorrow.... just the usual subtle whining...

Slap-a-Dap Mini Cooper Blue- no backs

Remember playing Slug Bug with your brothers and sisters while cruising around town in the back seat of your parents station wagon, maybe even in the "way back"? I do, and I think I still have bruises on my upper arms from my over-zealous older brothers, as I had to sit on "the Hump" in the old mercury wagon....

My family (Husband and twin boys who are now 15) have played slug bug over the years, especially since the new bugs were introduced by VW. Then came the ipod phase, where everyone but the driver was "tuned in, turned on and dropped out", well, at least out of conversation.... thank you Timothy Leary.

But, in the last 3 months or so, the Ipods have stayed at home or turned off (their choice), and as we have been tooling around city, we've brought up the old slug bug game. And, we added a new one, because bugs just aren't as popular: Slap-A-Dap Mini Cooper. Rules are the same, but instead of punching your neighbor in the arm, you slap them twice, once with your palm, the other on the way back with the back of your hand. Of course, you should slap them where it is most convenient, as you should be stealthy about your slapping...but there's no rule about where the slap lands... which makes it a little more fun. And of course, slapping doesn't allow for as much bruising!

Another variation of slug or slap is for the texting generation - text your sighting: sbrednb (slug bug red no backs). And while I would never suggest texting while driving (as it is against the law in MN), you can do it after you've pulled over, or even when you get to your destination!

Now, I don't want to see this on myspace, or a quiz on facebook, or even a tweety twitter... but I am a nostalgic kind of gal, and I'm happy to see my kids play the same game I did with my brothers... brings back all sorts of good memories... and I hope they will carry on the tradition.

Playing Hookie... when you need face time

By the time the alarm went off this morning, no one in my house wanted to wake up - not even the dogs. One of my kids comes into my room around 6:15 and flops down on the bed - resting before he jumped in the shower 45 minutes later.... My other kid slpet until 8:15 or so.... My husband also couldn't get going, with many failed attempts at picking out something to wear, and actually brushing his teeth, he decided to just bag it and call in with a "mental day"... At some point, he rolled over onto my pillow and whispered "do you wanna play hookie?"

All of these factors caused me to loligag around the house, and debate wether or not I could afford a hookie day. It would be a perfect day - my boss is in NY on business, our admin is on vacation - I don't really have all that much work to do! . Literally, there is no one in the office to know wether or not I am in....but that's the problem- there's no one there to cover in case something happens! Damn!

So, I decide to play half hookie... got in around 10:00 - planning on leaving at 1:30 - show up, put in enough face time, and then let everyone know after the fact that I took a half day. I'll still keep an eye on emails, and maybe check my voicemails (Blecccchhhh), and if somebody needs me, I'll respond. But, otherwise, I'll be sitting my butt on the couch, watching some stupid movie with my husband this afternoon.... and not feeling the least guilty about it!

Good thing my coworkers don't read this blog - I'd be completely busted!

Java Haiku

Mahogany slides
Down my throat, bitter and smooth
My soul awakens




(this one is for Brian who didn't get coffee this AM!)

A Midsummer morning fantasy

Chirp, tweet, little birds say
“pick me, pick me.”

The sweet morning breeze
Is the nightclub for my backyard friends.

All a-tweet and a-twitter,
They attract their soulmate.

Some brash, some melodic,
They all sing the right tune

Many elaborate rituals,
With all the give and take.

A proud display of plumage,
An intricate song of love.

Others are simple fly-bys,
“Hey chick, whatcha got going on?”

I find my avian friends,
Are not so different than us.

Bee Balm

There’s a lovely flower in my garden,
by the name of Bee Balm.

Soft spiky flowers and leaves,
Fragrant Red blossoms

Yet the bees that fly through it
Are never calm or soothed

They’re still as busy as ever
Buzzing from bloom to bloom

Gathering their nectar and pollen
With their nimble limbs

With a blossom so divine
And ripe for the picking

How could a bee relax,
Take his time and wait?

Jazzy Blue

Why is blue the color of sad and low?
Of heartbreak and sorrow,
Of melancholy and tears,
I only feel happy when I’m around it

Blue are my children’s eyes
Bright sparkly and full of mischief

Blue are the Johnny-jump-ups
Smiling from our window box in the midday sun

Blue fills the space between the clouds
That we track from the hammock’s swing

Blue is the Mediterranean sea
Waves, café au lait and you

Blue are the berries
In the muffins I baked this morning

Blue is the flower cart
From grandma’s house, full of love and blooms

Blue is the topaz necklace
A present from my adoring you

Blue is not the color and sad and low
Blue is the uptick in the tempo
Blue is the pluck of the bass in a solo
Blue is the shabadoooooo as you close your eyes and smile

Brace yourself.... It's poetry week

I wrote some stuff over the weekend that seems, well not completely crappy - please, I'm soliciting honest feedback.....

Here's the first in the next post

call me eeyore today

I feel like Eeyore today.... all gloomy and rainy... and I'm usually more like Tigger!

Politics at work are kicking me in the ass today, in the fashion of 2002-2003 (and all of you who worked with me then know WHO I am talking about).. No, not my boss; her new boss reminds me of that one guy... So, I think I want to change my answer to the questions onthe Employee survey:

1. Do you have the tools needed to do your job? Today, I would say "Strongly disagree".
2. Does your management team support your efforts? today I would say "strongly disagree"
3. Do you believe the company supports our communities through charitable activities: Today I would say....... "Strongly Disagree"

Sorry - had to vent.... I'll be back to my usual Tigger self tomorrow... but I still want to change my answers...

Minnesota... meet your new senator!

I'm ecstatic that after 8 months of nonsense.... but well organized nonsense Thank you MN-SOS Mark Ritchie!)... we finally have our other Senator: Al Franken...... (insert crowd cheering here!). Most of you know that I'm a dyed in the wool democrat... but Al's campaign really struck a chord with me... that's why I sat beside him at this meeting, where he really listened to the ideas and needs of everyday people.... He's the real deal... and while I know that like any politician, he will make mistakes, I feel like he will advocate for Minnesotans - especially those that don't traditionally have a voice. I'm proud to call Al my senator...very proud.

Investors got their 150 pounds of flesh today...

As an icon of everything wrong with the world, Bernie Madoff today was handed his sentence - 150 years in prison - resulting in a life sentence in a medium security prison. From what I've read, there is no "Camp Fed" for Bernie... and also from what I've read, most people believe he deserves to die in prison. He has stolen the savings of thousands of people, bilked the smartest guys out there and lived a lie. I agree - he is criminal, he did it on purpose, and he should be punished.

As a counter point, there are worse criminals out there, who have raped, murdered, tortured and threatened people, whose futures (if any) are far more impacted by the perpetrators. I have not done the research on the average time served of a violent sex offender or someone who commits homicide. My sense is, though that they traditionally don't get these long sentences.

Why does this sentence seem so lopsided? Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending or advocating for either type of criminal. I'm just observing that it seems out of whack.

Perhaps the judge was setting an example of Madoff with other Wall street types to snap them to attention.

Another possible explanation is the "future buying power" of the victims of Madoff. If I take out the seniors who will lose their homes and security, being bilked by Madoff is only a set back (albeit big) for those investors... in other words, they can recover.

What of the family of the violent assault/homicide victim... who is advocating for their rights in the judicial system? Why does the upper middle class plea for the financial criminal to rot in hell seem to count more than the poverty stricken mother of a child killed in a drive by?

Again, I'm not saying give Madoff less, or violent criminals more.... I just want to ask the question - how do you think the role of the victim's class impacted the process?

A good day for poetry

Summer Bliss

Thunder clap awake!
Soft breath on my shoulder
Your hand in mine

Rain falls straight and soft
My back fills the crevices of your chest
You mumble “ashhhhhabaaa”

Nature’s day starts with a refreshing shower
My day begins in the arms of my lover
Your day is moments away as I stir and you sigh

Chicks Rule - the new face of Jazz

I'm just about recovered from our weekend of Jazz.... TC JAzz Festival - free at Mears Park. Awesome line up:

• Thursday - Jazz Pub Crawl (we did not attend, but heard it was great!)
• Friday - Irv Williams and Allen Touissant... we skipped Allen and went to the Hat trick and saw the Jack Brass Band - transported us back to New Orleans for a moment
• Saturday - Started with New Standards (Chan Poling from the Suburbs, John Munson from Trip Shakespeare and some dude on the Vibraphones), took a break and went to Barrio for a drink, came back for Alex Han with Jon Weber - Alex is an amazing 20ish sax player, and got front row chairs for the headliner Esperanza Spalding - Esperanza is a 23 year old woman from Oregon, who is formally trained on string instruments, but has taken that training and turned it into amazing jazz. She plays double bass (stand up bass) like she's (ahem) dancing/making love to it, she plays bass guitar like an old school rocker, adn has an amaizing voice - both in range and capability. Every single straight male in the audience was wondering how they could get access to her. She is one of the shining stars of jazz that we saw this weekend.
• Sunday -aside from sleeping late, celebrating Fathers day with good food and bubbly, we ended the evening at the Dakota... witnessing another young, female rising star - Uehara Hiromi.... a pianist who is indescribably talented at translating her vision of music through her nimble fingers onto 4 seperate key boards. Amazing to watch, and even if you could just hear her... still phenominal.

My long winded (as usual) point is that these two women are rising in Jazz - at a record pace - they represent the future of jazz, and while I've seen plenty of talented young men - I've never seen one who can capture the hearts and minds of her audience the way both Esperanza and Hiromi do... keep your eyes open... these chicks will be the powerhouse of jazz for the next 15 years... move over Diana Krall - you have company on the stage!

Distraction-action

I am doing everything possible to focus on work, but it's too damn hard today! Got a fun-packed weekend coming up, and I can't wait to get it started...

Tonight, we are going to the annual Twin Cities Jazz Festival (http://www.hotsummerjazz.com/) in St Paul... Going to see legend Irv Williams play his Saxophone - he's going to be 90 soon, and you never would guess it. Then, off to the Artists Quarter for a drink, bite and more music... and maybe hop around a couple of the other bars.

Tomorrow- work in the garden in the AM... after sleeping off whatever hangover we end up with... and back to St Paul for an afternoon and evening of more music - and I have high hopes for Esperanza Spaulding - the feature show on Saturday Night! I think we may head over to the Dakota late on Saturday night to see if anyone shows up there to play an unscheduled gig...

Then on Sunday - Father's Day - I'm going to baby my baby - my husband that is... since his kids are elsewhere, and so are mine... I get to take him out for breakfast (or maybe deliver it to him in bed)... then he'll choose what we do the rest of the day - including doing nothing! We have tickets to see Hiromi at the Dakota at the 7:00 show - so we'll grab a bite before - maybe at Barrio and settle in for some incredible music.

So, the official weekend of hedonism needs to start soon!

My not quite organic garden - weeds, already!

Finally, got my veggie garden planted and was able to take a picture! I designed this garden layout based on my inherent laziness! It's split into sections that are easy to weed (theoretically) , easy to plant, easy to dig, each section at a time. And so far, it has worked much better than your average big plot where everything grows together. The bricks make it easy to navigate, roll the wheelbarrow through, etc. I love how it looks after it's first planted, because it just looks so tidy! Trust me, I'll post a pic in August and you'll see the Tomato and raspberry jungle... it's like a ganja trail - you almost need a machete!!

The best part of this is that I can really use the space efficiently! Here's what's in the garden (Counter clockwise from the outer sections):

• Upper Right: Raspberry canes - Heritage variety that produce two crops per year
• Upper Left: One Zuchinni plant in far corner, bush beans planted along front, pole beans planted along fence Also a cucumber at the far left point, as well as a crazy, over producing yellow pear tomato.
• Lower Left: Herbs (parsely, basil, sage, rosemary, thyme, taragon, cilantro, oregano, Mother f'n chives), I also plant the broccoli in this section - but I haven't found any yet this year to plant! I might put the celery that Scott bought in that section...
• Lower right: Very shady, so this year I might put in the leeks and pumpkins that Scott bought and see if they tough it out.
• Middle Section: upper right: Cherry and big boy tomatoes
• Middle Section: Upper left: Beefsteak and purple cherokee tomatoes and hopefully tomatillos
• Middle section lower left: Lettuce, spinach, carrots and radishes (Aka baby bunny food)
• Middle section lower right: Red and Yellow peppers, and jalapeno plant.

So, in this simple 20X20 garden, I count 30 different edibles. In addition, I have two clematis along the fence with some art, and I generally plant Zinnias for some color. Not bad for a garden plot in the middle of the city! If you look closely at the picture, you'll see on the rigth side my only non-organic appliction - Preen... Since I made this garden from a chunk of lawn in my back yard, i continually fight against weeds... so I have broken down and used Preen for several years, which has been very effecitve at preventing complete domination by crabgrass, lambsquarter, clover violets, and all the stuff I happily mow down in my yard!

So, I can't wait to start to harvest, if I'm lucky, the lettuce and spinach will pop soon and if I can beat the bunny brigade, we'll be having a salad soon! Next will be Raspberries, then beans, then tomatoes, then peppers, then brocooli (if I can find it!)... and even now, I can harvest little bits of the herb plants... along with needing to weed and mulch... I am a happy gardener!