My Love affair with Caffeine

I am a caffeine junkie. I'll take it whatever way I can get it (other than smoking it). I think it dates back to my wimpy teenage years when my friend Terry and I decided to stay up all night by taking massive amounts of No-Doz (no illegal drugs for us!).



We had a master plan that included purchasing it at the local Tom Thumb convenience store - and in order to look oh-so-cool and not suspicious at all - we also loaded up the basket with Sunkist orange soda, Poppy Cock snack mix, Bugles and premade chocolate pudding for good measure. I get a gut ache just thinking about it now... but 13 year-olds think that they have iron stomachs....


After walking home to Terry's house, we loaded it all into the pop-up trailer that her dad had set up for us (Looking back I'm sure they wanted their sleep, assuming us girl scout types would never be so bold as to do anything wrong). Rolled out the sleeping bags, set up the radio - tuned to (o lord help me) WLOL - a pink bubble gum station at the time. We cracked open the Sunkist, poured it into the fancy glasses we stole from the basement bar, and downed, oh, i don't know 2 no-doz each. then waited. and then after 15 minutes of no effect, downed 2 more pills. Then while we were waiting for the "magical effect"... we ate the Poppycock (caramel corn type stuff), pudding and Bugles with another good round of Sunkist soda. And then the giggling started. And then the gut ache started, and the moaning, and the groaning infused with little giggles that I'm sure were caused by anticipation and excitement rather than caffeine. And then we spent the rest of the night - trying not to fall asleep until the sun rose. And most importantly, trying not to projectile vomit...

Shortly after the sun rose..... knock knock knock "girls - I've made breakfast - how would you like pancakes and bacon?". Um.... "Sure, Mrs. Leigh, we'll be right out."

And as Terry and I pushed our pancakes around the plate and tried not to look too green in the gills, they informed us of a most cruel trick: They had a surprise for us: We were spending the morning touring Fort Snelling! Woo hoo! They just found out that it was a special day and all the re-enacters would be there, baking bread, hauling water, cleaning guns. And even better, we would have lunch with Great Aunt Peggy in the senior home!

I was never so thankful to get home and collapse on the couch... it taught me that parents really do know what the hell is going on in the backyard pop-up trailer... not specifically, but enough so that they could exact cruel revenge on our naughtiness. From then on, we waited until they went out of town to party... you know, the old crossover sleep over with no-one home trick? Let's just say that the no-doz started and stopped that night.... but the caffeine is still a monkey on my back. And well, as far as Terry and I and our exploration into mood altering agents... that was just the beginning. Maybe I'll tell that tale here someday, but my children occasionally stop by my blog, so......... maybe not.

Miasmatic dullness

That's what a day like today brings to the employees of the company I work for.

An ethereal cloud of dust particles made of some caustic, sharp metal.

Along with the swipe of my security badge at the door, I surrender the hope of having a productive day.

Scan the inbox full of emails-about-nothin, listen the voicemails from people who give less of a damn than I do.

Engage in behaviors that sound like work, and look like work, but are not work.

Attempt to make a difference in the world, but find that the walls here are made of lead, making the rest of the world unpenetrable from my desk.

I know that this invasion of the brain snatchers has been going on for months now, and others I share oxygen with during the work week suffer silently with me.

Some smart person should really grab up this immense talent and do something productive with it.

But, that person is not me, not today.

A light in the middle of the tunnel

Had breakfast with a friend from work this morning.... we try to get together every quarter. While I can't speak to why my buddy likes these meetings (He's a guy, and well, we just don't talk about feelings), I know I look forward to them because it reminds me of several things that this crazy work situation has made me forget:

1) Their is life out there outside of work... and sharing that with work friends is a good thing
2) Yes, I am smart and competent
3) You can maintain a sense of humor during less than ideal times
4) Laughing at yourself is good.... laughing at fools is more fun
5) Gossip is amusing, but friendship is not about getting scoop. It's remembering why you became friends in the first place
6) Children, grandchildren and relationships are way more important than any paid gig... ever.
7) While misery loves company, realistic optimism loves it more
8) Coffee or tea is just as good of a conversation stimulant as a tankard of beer. Added benefit: no hangover!
9) There are good people in the world, after all. Even if you have to seek them out!
10) Most importantly: A side order of bacon at OPH in Edina is big enough for two people to share.

Thanks for the visit, Dan.... and thanks for reminding me about what really matters.

Tourista - Minneapolis Style

Had a blast this weekend playing Tourista in our wonderful city of Minneapolis! Having spent a decade or more in jobs that required a certain amount of business travel, I have been to most major cities and a lot of the middle size cities in the US, and some abroad. New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, New Orleans, Miami, Paris, Rome, Barcelona to name a few... I've written about my gypsy gene before -I love to travel. Part of that love centers on where I currently live and the things I love about the Twin Cities (and the things I find lacking).

Over the past few years, my family and I have really tried to rediscover the city that we live in. Aside from visiting the museums and the theater and music venues for specific shows, we try to see it from an outsider's viewpoint. And Wham, when I do, I thank my lucky stars for living in such a wonderful place in the world.

This weekend, we stayed at the W in the Foshay tower - I had a free night that I needed to burn by the end of the month. As with all W's I've stayed in, it's an experience for the senses... and makes you feel either old (because you are not that hip), or young, because you know that even though you may be a little draggy and droopy on the outside, you also know that you were hip before these punks were out of diapers. Scott and I choose the latter attitude to have...

And aside from the fabulous food we ate, and the lordy lordy too many drinks we had, we also made the trip up to the Foshay tower museum and observation deck. This trip used to be a mandatory grade school thing... and I felt like that 4th grader again... looking over the edge at downtown and trying to see our house with the bincolulars. Its been well over 30 years since I've been up there... seems to me too long of a time!

So, no matter where you live, try to tour your city as if you never lived there... you'll never question why your propoerty taxes are so high, or so low again. Cities are for the people who live there to enjoy... not just for the tourists anymore!

If black cats bring bad luck....

Then an albino squirrel must be a harbinger of good things to come..... right?

It's Friday and I'm ready to believe any sign that could be construed as positive- I was taking an alternate route to grab coffee this AM because of thelongestfreakingconstructionprojectever known as crosstown reroute... so I was tooling around the backroads of Richfield trying to get onto Penn avenue and an albino squirrel wisely choose to not get flattened by my tire.

I take that as a good sign.

Just like making the green light that never goes my way.

Just like getting 2 bags of Peanut M&M's from the vending machine.

I have these little fits of superstition...which may suprise some of my friends that think I'm level headed and logical all the time....

The mob mentality...and the horror floor

Working in the financial services industry for the past 24 years (good golly, Miss Molly I'm old!) has provided me the opportunity to observe human behavior as it relates to change. Good change, bad change, change for the sake of boredom, it's all basically the same.

It's human nature to be afraid of change - lack of security shakes the foundation of our psyche. There's all sorts of reserach out there on the manifestations of this fear.

The most interesting aspect is something that I literally see happening around me today. The rumor mill at my current employer is overflowing! Talk of closing the location entirely, or certain business units being wiped out.... all the rumors wrapped up in people looking for "signs"....

Signs that "we" are going to be impacted (negatively):

• A request from HR for meeting with the manager next week
• Email requests for who has IT access to what applications
• Delayed projects with no explanation of when a decision will be made
• etc. etc. etc.

Signs that "we" are safe:

• A new copier/printer was delivered (not installed) to our area
• Budget planning continues

I really try not to read anything into these types of signs, because I know that anyone can get laid-off at a moment's notice. No matter how many things are on your plate, if you are the only one who knows how to do something.... when deicisions are made, these things are not taken into account.

So, upon analysis of these signs, my co-workers are starting up the horror floor machine... basically laying out the worst possible scenario. People packing their personal things based on NO actual information. Plotting on how to get information from the facilities people.... Calling for information on unemployment, how does COBRA work....you all know the drill! I think this behavior stems from not having any control over the situation. By packing, you have control. By gaining information, you are prepared. But the problem with playing into the mob mentality is that it is panacea by nature. You don't really have any more control. Your behavior will not change the ultimate outcome. You expend some much emotional overhead on transitioning between "we are safe... and... we will get hit."

So... I sit with no boxes packed... no pictures wrapped up.... no worry in my face. I'm waiting. if it happens, it does, if it doesn't. I don't have the emotional overhead to spend. Not today at least!

Coming back up for air...

It's been a busy week for me since my last post! I have too many plates-a-spinning... and I can hear them start to wobble... I am afraid to look!

So my task today is pull some plates safely down by accomplishing some outstanding tasks that need to be done so that I can sleep at night.

Tomorrow, I think I'll be able to actually put a little extra torque on a few plates to keep them going while I focus on other things...

And then I pray to the "too busy to think" gods that they dont' all come crashing down at once. I'd be sad to see all of the plates broken....