That Fuzzy Feeling

I feel fuzzy today.
Not in the warm, pink slipper way
But in the blurry, out of focus picture way
Fuzzy like a dust bunny you can’t quite reach

I’m told my antennae are high def compatible
But today I receive only in analog
What we called “the bug races” in our youth
Are playing on the screen of my mind

It’s not from the wine at the party last night
I’ve had my injection of caffeine today
The bright sun should burn the haze away
I’m searching under the sink for Windex made specifically for souls

Rather, my malaise is caused by an unseen source.
Always there, reminding me of betrayal
Of pain and anger
And destroying things both tangible and not.

The wounds have been slowly healing,
The scars on the surface are less startling these days.
You barely notice them, in fact
They have become just part of the landscape.

The reparation I seek lies deep,
Within an unreachable corner of my heart.
I need time for it to mend
Rather than a razorblade to scrape it away .

And so I may be fuzzy tomorrow and the next day
Eventually fading to an imperceptible buzz.
As the nerve endings find each other again
And finally connect so I can see clearly once more