Gardening soothes the soul... one weed at a time

For those individuals who have never gardened, it's hard to explain the cathartic effect (psychological) you get from it. While I don't have everything in the ground that I want to yet, I did get a big chunk of the work done this weekend - namely, the vegetable garden. Last weekend, I bought all of the plants, seeds, etc. that I needed to get the job done... but we ran out of good weather and time. So this weekend, I was determined to get it in, as if I didn't , the veggie garden would not be a source of veggies - plant too late in MN, and you don't get much produce before that first frost.

With everything going on at work, and more than enough craziness at home, I also know that as I'm pulling weeds (damn there were a lot), amending the soil with compost, and placing those baby plants in the earth, that I get a lot of thinking done. Actually, it's not so much thinking as processing. You know, the kind you do when you are driving, taking a shower, walking the dog, etc. Not actively working out a problem.... just letting the water of the issue flow over the river rock of your soul.

• Pulling weeds helps me with anger
• Shoveling compost into the garden plot helps me reconcile conflict, as it is the real manifestation of giving back and the give and take of nature.
• And of course, planting helpless seedlings and giving them what they need to survive reminds me of the opportunity I have to make the world a better place, rather than a worse one.

So, on Sunday night, with a glass of wine in my hand, I surveyed my work, took some ibuprofen, and marveled at how at peace I felt with the world. I thought of how we were providing fresh food for my family, saving money, helping the environment, and was proud of the potential that I had created for doing good in the world.

Then I threw a rock at a rabbit that was looking at my baby basil plants.... probably the same bunny that I snatched from the jaws of Luna, the wonder dog just a month ago.... isn't the cycle of life amusing?

Impetuous behavior - a life lesson, or is it preventable?

Another mea culpa from me: I have engaged in impetuous behavoir. I've made major life decisions based on very little information, driven by my emotions, and with little regard for the future, outside of "knowing" that it would be OK. And, with a lot of luck, I have never found myself in a dangerous situation, or have sufferend dire consequences of those decisions.


Some of this comes from an incredibly strong sense of intuition, ability to read people accurately, and be flexible enough to modify my expectations as things change. But I have to admit that most of it has been luck and more than a little heart ache...

So, when you know someone who is acting impetuously, or about to.... do you stop them? Do you try to "show" them that they are about to make a mistake? Do you nag on them until they listen? Or do you need to back away so they can make that choice?

I ask only becasue everytime I made those types of deicisions, I knew I was doing it, and chose to proceed. I don't believe there was any type of information that anyone could have given to me that would have changed my mind. And for some of the people that dissaproved of my decision, any push back caused me to be more resolute. So - again, are impetuous choices actually preventable?

Optimism of youth... or, you've got to be kidding me...

As I've matured (read: aged), I've witnessed my ability to approach life with complete optimism fade away. I can be optimistic about certain situations or events, but I'm not able to muster up an "optimistic approach" on a large scale.

I remember my teenage years when I thought I had it all figured out, that I could blaze a trail through life without impedement - always getting what I wanted and needed.... and then as the years pass, I find that my viewpoint has eroded to skepticism and cynicism. Is that experience and "wisdom" at work? Or is it just disappointment as reality has sunk in over the years?

Some days, I wish that I could get that optimism back - just for a moment.... and other days, I am thankful for my ability to have a realistic viewpoint...

Being a mother to 15 year old boys - the invisible net

This week marks a momentous time in the year - School's out for my teenage boys (15 year old twins). Yesterday was their first day of summer break, and I've been so busy I forgot to do the most important thing - stock up on food - cereal, lean cuisine's, ramen, soup, chili, milk, yogurt, veggies, fruit, etc etc etc..

If any of you are parents you know that your first insitinct is to make sure that your children are fed. I'm here to say that there's a big difference between your kids going hungry, and the eating patterns of 15 year old boys. Of course, they are at thier maximum caloric intake requirement they probably ever will be, but honestly, my food bill goes up about $200/month during the summer!

Aside from nutrional needs, the other primary concern we have over the summer is "safety", not physical safety, necessarily, but behavioral safety. I remember what I did when I was 15, left to my own devices over the summer. Not to incriminate myself, but it was definitely a summer of testing the boundaries. So, I jokingly say at the beginning of every week - "remember - no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no sex, no stealing, no breaking any laws"... and honestly, my kids are great, but I know that they will eventually break one of these rules... they have to!

So, my job is to make it inconvenient for them to break the rules - make sure they can't say "they didn't know it was a rule" (Teen's favorite excuse). I'm pretty lax on the things that I assume they will do - watch too much TV, surf adult sites on the web (They are 15 after all), play games that are not mother tested and approved... They should be doing those things. They need to start making their own choices, and deal with the consequences.

Will I try to catch them? Probably not. Will I snoop a little if I start seeing behaviors that I think are borderline? Absolutely. Will I tear apart their backpacks and their nightstands, in a public demostration of their lack of privacy? No. Will I scan their email accounts for scary stuff? Probably. Will I lock down their computer (that they bought with their own funds)? No. Will I make sure they know that I can get onto the PC and look at their history? Yes.

I dont' call it snooping, I call it parenting. Just as I make sure they have something more than a slice of bread for their daily meal, I also make sure that behavioral safety net is in place - invisible, but still there.

To me, parenting teens is a just a dimensional shift from parenting preschoolers. As they are learning to ride a bike, you realize that you can't actually pedal for them, but you can tag behind them waiting to catch them if they fall. Teens - you realize can't tag behind them, tell them what choices to make, but you can let them know you are watching and that you will always be there to catch them when they fall.

Finally, I'm not dropping plates anymore

I remeber as a kid watching the Mike Douglas Show, or the Merv Griffin Show (Yes, I am that old), and always being amazed at the talent they would bring on as time killers. This has been modernized through Letterman's Stupid human tricks... so the fascination still applies.

In my twenty years of corporate living, one of these acts has stuck with me - the spinning plates act, where the talent starts plates spinning on a rod, with the idea that centrifigal force (or is it centripedal, I can't remember which one applies!) keeps the plates moving as long as they are spinnign at a high enough velocity.

Over the last two months, I feel like I have been spending so much of my energy at work, running from plate (project) to plate (task), keeping them spinning at a minimal velocity to stop them from crashing down. Never able to stop long enough to put a good effort, becasue I see others wobbling on the verge of crashing to the stage. This required me to revisit the plates more often, running back and forth across the stage like a crazy person. Intellectually, I knew that I should pause long enough to give the task the investment in energy it really needed to be more self sufficient. But I couldn't translate that into behavior. I must admit I dropped a few plates, but it happened in the back so not many people in the audience noticed...

Being on the road 90% of my time in May was the main reason for this, but that's a really lame excuse, because I spent more time sitting in my hotel room, reading a book, surfing the tube, or taking stupid facebook quizzes. So, no one to blame but myself.

Now that I am off the road, I hope to change and put the time in to spin the right plates at the right time, so I am not dashing around like a nut. We'll see - I know I feed off of adrenaline in these situations, and that's a hard habit to kick - especially if you've been working on it for 20 years! We'll see how the summer plays out....

I left my Heart in San Francisco

The last time I was here! But now I'm back and will do my best to hunt it down..... Highlights for the 5 day trip will be a reception at a residence on Nob Hill (that should be fun), a few meetings, hunting down some jazz clubs, eating lots of good food, drinking lots of good wine. Seeing some friends, walking everywhere... Scott's wearing the pedometer so I will post our mileage everyday!

If it's Tuedsay, I must be in Cleveland

Or, at least that's how I've felt for the past month! My apologies to any regular readers (If I even have any!) for my recent lack of posting. ... I have been traveling for work like an old school salesguy... Different day, different city!

Since the beginning of April, I have wracked up the following:

18,000 NWA Frequent Flyer miles
14 takeoffs (same as many landings)
2,000 Starwood points (Hotel loyalty program)
6 Rental Cars
4 taxi fares
6 pools I've gone for swims in

Several good dinners, and several crappy dinners at hotel restaurants.
Met all sorts of wonderful employees across the country, and just as many crabby ones....

So, I'm culminating my travel month with one last trip - on vacation next week with my husband - going to San Fransisco, where I am sure to not have any crappy meals, meet no employees, ride inf more than a few taxis, and have lots of good wine...