Re-opening Soon....

Yeah, so this year has been, ummmm.. one for the record books, or a really good basis for a Lifetime movie script.

Imagine the plot:

Ynnej - the main character fces several life altering challenges during the year and comes close to losing her mind!

What praytell does Ynnej face?

• One kid get's in deep doo doo for buying weed from a loser friend. Yennj calls loser's mom and tells her that her son is dealing dope.
• freshly met, bipolar step daughter moves in so she can graduate from high school and clean up
• Employer goes on the dole from the feds
• Said Employer informs Ynnej that her stint in the prison camp will end on July 23rd (I mean to say she got laid off)
• Aforementioned now clean and gradimated, but still bipolar step daughter moves out. leaving a swath of peace in her place
• kids get part time jobs at local grocery store. Ynnej turns into a taxi service
• Exhusband moves tempoarily to Texas for work, leaving a huge emotional hole for Ynnej's children to deal with
• The other kid gets his heart broken by a lovely girl...
• Ynnyej searches for work and heals from the cluster-mind-Fark that said employer caused
• Ynnej finds employment - consulting for a national retailer
• Ynnej's alcoholic husband finally hits bottom and checks into rehab...
• Ynnej now finds herself missing her husband during the holiday season and hoping that the pros at Hazelden can give him the help he needs.

So, rather than booooooring anyone that might read this with any of the details, I am just going to spare you all and get back to blogging... honestly, I am ready for this year to be over!

Vertical Zig Zag of modern life

Ups and Downs, Highs and lows, the daily changes to our life and moods that create the color in the tapestry. I for one, could never live in a beige world. I like the extreme of black and white, of purple and orange, of hot fuschia or the roses blooming right now in my garden, set against the dark green of the neighboring pine tree.

If it's true that I need bold color to thrive, it's just as true that I could never live in a dull world. I need action, movement, chaos and the unknown in my life to be happy. It's always been true, and will almost certainly be true. And no, I don't think I'm a shark... I don't have fins.

There seeems to be a fine line for me, however, when the peak of the zig and the trough of the zag are too far apart, and I travel too quickly between them, or worse, not quickly enough. In cases where it's not quick enough, I look for things to create some movement. On good days, it takes the shape of joining an organization, starting a new hobby, or organizing the laundry (wow... that last one is super lame). On bad days, it looks more like I'm seeking out trouble, picking a battle I should stay away from, or be a rabble rouser.

On days where it is going too fast, I have had to learn the symptoms: rapid pulse rate, complete disorganization of thoughts, drifiting from one task to another without ever finishing any of them. When I realize that I am moving too fast between stages. I literally stop myself. Sit down with pencil and paper and write down "stream of conciousness". Then, I read it, and understand what is most salient from the stream - and focus on that. Then I rip up the list, in case anyone ever found it - it would look like rantings of a mad woman.

Speaking of rantings of a mad woman... I sometimes use this blog to do my stream of conciousness writing when I am not stressed - thanks to all who follow the blog, and can in fact, follow the rantings....

How many steps in a mile....

I've been doing this math quite a bit lately, as I've decided to save my sanity (and maybe my soul and health) by walking over the lunch hour... The office building in which I work is located next to a lovely first ring suburb... lots of gardens, parks and stuff to look at during my walking!

My stride is about 30 inches per step (yes, I measured it)... So, if a mile is 5,280 feet, which equals 63,360 inches... then I guess for short little me, it's about 2,112 steps. Good thing I have a nifty pedometer to track my steps... I've actually tried to do this in my head, and well, let's just say I get distracted by things like cars, birds, green grass, pretty much anything.

Each day, I've been trying to put in at least 3,000 steps over lunch, some days reaching 5,000. I've found that the days that I need the most stress relief are the days that I put in more steps, I guess that means my body has discovered the therapeutic nature of the endorphins that are released in the process. Did you know that the chemical structure of endorphins is similar to Morphine and other opiates?

So, if you ever see me walking around the southern part of richfield, with a look of joy on my face, you'll know that I'm past 4,000 steps for the walk... a little happier, a little less stressed... and don't stop me - help me keep that wonderful feeling!

61 days...

Who knew that I would take a 61 day break from my funny little blog that has few followers???? I guess I knew my life was becoming more complicated, but in fact, I had no idea just how much free time I had that is, well, no longer free.

In case you hadn't gleaned it from my most recent entries... (Hell, I barely remember writing the last couple, it was so long ago!)... my life has changed dramatically over the last, ummmmm..... 6 months - all of it trending in the positive, well, it will eventually - it's just a long arc.

In case anyone is still looking for updates on this blog, and given the even smaller chance that anyone actually, errrr, is interested in what the hell happened to me to make me stop writing... here are the highlights!

1) My Mother in Law, Lila moved from her family home to a Senior apartment last fall. We thought this would be a good move for her, safer, better nutrition, etc. And it undoubtedly has been. What we didn't see is an even greater dependence on us for things like groceries, laundry, paying bills, running errands, fixing up the house... well, you know.

2) Work - so much has happened at the company that I work for, and so little. Bottom line is I am still employed. My former team of 4 is down to a team of me. My wonderful boss-lady left the company on her own free will (I'm sticking around for an inevitable severance package... god, I wish they'd hurry!), and now I do all of the work that the 4 people used to. And I sit by myself day after day. Good thing I have all that work to do; it would be very dangerous for me to manage myself! No one wants to make a decision, or if they do, it makes only "politic sense", and you all (if you all are out there still) know how I hate BS! So, work is busy, but not fulfilling, and well, kinda of an infinite loopy experience!

3) Family: First - My husband and I are better than ever. We enjoy each other's company, it should really be illegal to be this much in love! He's still employed, so we are a rare couple in the financial services world to be both employed! Second - The teen wonder twin boys are doing amazingly well right now. School is challenging them to a degree never before seen. The acronym "AP" (for advance placement) means something new to all of us. Actual studying. M&M are ahem, naturally bright, and usually put little effort into getting good grades (Well, that's not completely true - they just don't complain about their homework, instead, they just get it done quickly... no fuss no muss.) So now they are taking a college level Biology class and it is kicking their asses! YAY! I love seeing them flourish like that! Last but not least, and she really does get her own bullet point: Daughter 2. Some of you may know about My husband's daughter who lives in Chicago - we'll call her Daughter 1. She's in grad school, getting her masters in education, and is living the life of any given 24 year old young woman who loves Steam Punk and bashing bad writers and literature!

4) Daughter 2 (D2) is my husband's 18 year old daughter from a short relationship with a woman many years his junior back in the early 1990's (you can do the math). D2 came into our lives about 2 years ago, as an agreement had been made that since my husband and the mother did not have a lasting relationship, that D2 would not be part of my husband's life until such time as it made sense (I know, that's a weird way of putting it, but to protect the lives of the innocent, and well, I wasn't around, so I don't really know how it went), the bottom line is Husband did not actually meet D2 until August of 2008. Since then, D2 has moved from her parent's home, "lodged" with a young man she was engaged to, then "lodged" with a young man at his parents home, all out in what some might call "the boonies" or "the sticks". After realizing that life as an independent 18 year old was not as, um, easy, as she thought, she asked to "lodge" with us. I'm not sure why I'm using "lodging", it just makes sense... So, with an agreement that we would put in place the rules required for success for a high school senior (ok, she calls it house arrest), she took up lodging at our home on March 2nd.

Needless to say, that's where I've been spending my energies and time. I have learned so much about parenting in the short time she's been with us. I've mastered, downright gotten a PhD in the art of saying "NO". Screw the art, there's no art. She calls it being perma grounded, we call it keeping her on a short leash, we all are working for the greater good and getting D2 graduated from High school. We are cramming a lifetime of "FIRSTS" into a short period of time (First popsicle, first circus, first High School prom (sort of), first trip to the zoo)... and having her in our lives has changed the entire dynamics of the household... completely, Again, all for the good, even when we are saying no quite emphatically.

So, I will be back blogging here more frequently as we are counting down something like 13 school days for graduation. And we will be celebrating in a way most can't conceive of, when she crosses that stage. While I've only known D2 a few short months (I only met her last November)... I am better off for knowing her and having her in my life. I'm not one to care about Gray hairs, but I'd bet my barber (no, not my stylist), would say I have gotten more than usual since my last trip to see him... no worries, though, they are all worth it!

Spring a Ding Ding!

I love this time of year! From the cold grasp of winter emerge the joyous gems of spring time! Please allow me to introduce my 2010 garden by way of any early spring photo album...

These little crocuses (crocii?) are always the first to spring up on the warm south side of the house. I swear they were planted back in 1938 when the house was built!

Then, on the east side of the house - these little irises (irii?) popped out this weekend! I planted these about 8 years ago and they are still one of my favorites.


These jonquils (Daffodils) are also on the south side of the house, and they just might bloom before we get another frost. Since last frost is May 15th- they got to hurry up and get the blooming over with!

Snow Drops are the first to bloom in the North Side garden - it faces south, but it doesn't quite get as warm as the gardens next to the house

Wait a minute, that's no flower! You are correct! That is Luna, the wildly (thankfully) unsuccessful squirrel hunter and princess of summer. She goes by Luna Toon, Luna Fish Casserole, Lunar Lander, and Lunified Field Theory. Well, she doesn't answer to much of anything unless it's followed by "Wanna biscuit?"

And then there is Phoebe - posing here after (again thankfully) failing at catching the large rabbit we have living in our yard. Doesn't she look all spotted and alert? Given that she's celebrating her 12th birthday this June, I'm pretty happy to see her hunting so deftly. And, she has many names too, like Phoebles weeble, Phoebula, and of course, the one we use since she is now mostly deaf : "Hey pain in the ass dog, come inside, it's too cold for me to stand outside in my slippers!"

And last, but not least, the site of future miracles and wonderment. My 20X20 veggie garden that is about to come out of it's dormant state. We will soon have copious amounts of volunteer regular and garlic chives, growing anywhere the billions of seeds fell, not to mention the oregano and mint that I couldn't kill if I wanted to. This year, "Fpot" the bunny (Say it out loud to get the full effect), once again, gnawed the clematis stems down the nubs, and took care of all the extraneous Heritage raspberry canes. Thanks a lot Fpot - now I only get one stupid crop of berries - poo on you! As I've said before, this will quite literally turn into a hot mess by August 15th, so full of green you'd think you were in a jungle in the amazon. But for now, it's just fine, waiting for the planting ceremonies to begin!

It's a zoo in here - what?

My husband, my stepdaughter and I went to Ikea on Saturday with the goal of getting some things for her room that would help her get organized for homework, make the space her own, etc.. We knew that the economy was recovering because Hiway 77 was backed up for cars to flow into the "Squallor of America" ramps... it looked better going into Ikea as we found a reasonably close parking spot. They all must have carpooled.

We walked into the doors of Ikea and it seemed like a normal amount of customer traffic... took the escalator up and WHAM... it was like a suburban, stroller pushing, multigeneration family convention! People everywhere, wandering around, loosing each other and their kids, trying to figure out how this doo-dad worked, or if that foldy couchy thing would fit in the spare room.

We ventured in, since you can't find your way out without going through the whole dang store now.... and persevered. At some point early on, somebody in my party (maybe it was me?) said "it's like a zoo in here!".

Really, a zoo? Where the animals are in cages to protect them from the visitors, in nice, orderly groupings, with beautiful habitats to keep everyone calm. Yes, every once in a while the visitors cram into the zoo, so it's busy, but there is a general traffic pattern so that things keep moving.

Ikea felt less like a zoo and more like a free for all after a natural disaster... I've decided to eliminate the metaphor (or is a simile) from my vocabulary - it's just not fair to professional zoo managers and their inhabitants. Next time I go to a chaotic, packed with people event of some kind, I will now say "it's like a Saturday afternoon in Ikea here"... much more accurate.

All the work and none of the benefits

It's a deal I can't refuse...quite literally. Aside from all the crazy stuff going on at home (My 18 year old step daughter has now moved in and is settling in quite nicely - new school tomorrow, so that will be when the real fun starts!), my boss told me the other day she's leaving the company. CRAP.

She's also recommended me for the job. Awesome - thanks for the vote of confidence, Boss!

Turns out, I don't get the "job" being defined as title, power or salary, but I do get the work. So in other words, I'm now doing 3-4 people's work. CRAP

The alternative is having no job. CRAP.

So, in a world of people who aren't able to find employment, I am sorry to even gripe a bit... but those of us who are over-employed are churning our way towards a fragile mental state. Very soon, we'll all be recouping in sanatoriums, and all those friends of mine who are under or unemployed -they can have my gig. I'll be happy to trade my putty colored cube walls for a padded walls for a bit.

Bitching session complete. Thank you for bearing with me.